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Hey folks, Harry here I saw this at the IMAX. If you want to see this – that is how to see it. It makes two action sequences pretty fucking amazing to just stare at. You won’t really be emotionally involved because frankly, no character work has been done to make you feel involved. But for pure IMAGERY – there are two sequences that the IMAX experience makes unbelievable.The film is padded by an hour of completely unnecessary, worthless, offensive and repugnant sequences that do nothing but tread water. Be it the family dogs fucking, twice. An extended sequence of Mom hopped up on pot brownies on a reefer madness binge. The well talked about racist foul-mouthed robots that are built in monkey proportions, have a big shiny gold tooth and do nothing to advance the story an inch. It’s almost like Michael Bay showed the script to George Lucas and Uncle George let loose with another of his awesomely inappropriate animated racial slurs. But the racial stuff isn’t limited to just the animated variety. There’s a black man with bad teeth working in a Butcher Shop to earn new teeth that kinda blew my mind. But my problems with these things aren’t so much of the PC variety.I’m all for off-color humor and thumbing your nose at the PC police. But I really would like it to serve the story. Michael Bay is famous for pointless asides, and this time he has a solid hour and a half of story telling, padded with absolute bullshit.

Now – I know I’m supposed to be the big Michael Bay apologist – for the record – I loved and continue to love BAD BOYS 1 & 2, THE ROCK and ARMAGEDDON. I feel PEARL HARBOR was an hour too long and it hurt what might have been a better shorter film, much like this film. And I really really strongly dislike THE ISLAND and TRANSFORMERS.

This latest film I found more tolerable than the last one, if only because I enjoyed Prime’s battle with 3 Decepticons in the forest. And the Egyptian battle sequence, especially with the modified Prime.

But you have to remember, I didn’t like a single action sequence in the first film. I rewatched TRANSFORMERS on Blu-Ray before going to the theater today, because I wanted it fresh in mind. I do feel that John Turturro is better this time out. Megan Fox was hotter in the last film. But this film has so much obviously wrong with it, that you have to wonder if anybody in the process ever told Michael Bay that he was fucking offensively retarded.

Well, I know it wouldn’t be Lorenzo DiBonaventura – the lead ACTIVE producer on the film. He’s the incompetent schmuck that shat on IRON GIANT, and put Schumacher on BATMAN. Lorenzo is a nice guy that has zero barometer for taste. He’s like a sweet janitor, more than a smart producer or studio exec. The basic storyline about the Fallen – and the distant history of Robots on Earth… I like. I very much suspect that Orci & Kurtzman created the overall storyline, but then Ehren Kruger came in with the Twins and most of the SHIT in this film. I say this, because I once experienced first hand the rancid idiotic fumblings on Ehren Kruger on JOHN CARTER OF MARS – who single handedly managed to shit on Burroughs in a way I though unthinkable. And cost us untold fortunes in rewrites and changes. And yes, I’ve never been more frustrated as when the studio forced that hack upon us. But I will say that Mudflap and Skids and Jolt read just like some of the unnecessary bullshit that I’ve read from Kruger before.

All that said though – my nephew loved the film, he’s nearly nine. He hated the kissy stuff. But he loved pretty much everything else. He adored Mudflap and Skids – which is more disturbing than anything else. The amount of foul language popping out of their mouths is astonishing, especially with the shit, bitch, muther…, ass, pussy, etc…

What the hell is this stuff doing in a TRANSFORMERS movie?

Anyone?

This film was conceived during the WRITER’S STRIKE – with Michael Bay up at ILM doing animatics on the big action sequences. Then when the strike was over, he brought in Orci & Kurtzman to string the scenes together. Which oddly enough was kinda how Hitchcock and Lehmann worked on NORTH BY NORTHWEST (to radically different results). And then the roto-rooter of screenwriters, Ehren Kruger did the mop up work on the film. At least that’s how I’ve heard it went down.

The film will make a mint, undeservedly so. Steven Spielberg should be embarrassed to have his name on shoddy storywork like this. Shame on you Steven. Kids will be lining up for this – and they’ll be met with dog fucking, cussing, racial stereotypes and more. I seriously wonder if Spielberg was thinking of Mudflap & Skids as he watched the inauguration of Barack Obama – because he’d read the script at that point, he knew what his name was bringing, and yet he still had the gall to attend.

The filmmakers, studio and toymakers behind this film should be ashamed. To spend this type of money to bring this sort of hurtful and repugnant work to screen – it is an insult to every DREAM that so many have WORKed for, for years.

I’d like to ask you not to support this film, but those of you with young boys, I know there isn’t a chance. But realize you’ll be taking them to see a film with the lowest forms of humor, stereotypes and racism around. Not only that, but its packaged for our children. Which makes it all the more offensive.

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